REX23 - Plate 62 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Laura Wasson Warfel

REX23 - Plate 62 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Guest Laura Wasson Warfel

Episode Transcript

REX23

Trista, Host: [00:00:00] Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY (Plate Story) Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it? Welcome. I'm excited today to have Laura Warfel from St. Louis, Missouri. Her license plate is REX23. Welcome Laura. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:00:29] Hi Trista. Good to see you. It's great to be a guest. Yeah, 

Trista, Host: [00:00:33] it's wonderful to have you. Thanks so much for being on. I'd love to hear the story behind your vanity plate.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:00:39] My father Rex Wasson was a real estate broker in our small town in Southern Illinois. And one of the services he offered to attract business to his office was what they called back then. It was this, this is the 1970s quick license service. So people would come in and order their license plates. And then he had a runner that would go to our state Capitol and pick up the plates and have them back the next day.

And that was, that was huge. So of course you had a lot of vanity plates that people were were requesting. Cause it was just kind of starting to be a thing, but my dad was kind of humble and he didn't want to spend a lot of money, extra money for a vanity plate. And then all of a sudden, one day he just said, I'm gonna, I'm going to get my vanity plate.

And so we didn't know what he requested. And we found out later he just requested REX and a number. And so he got Rex 23 and we're all kind of going well, you know, that's, that's interesting. We couldn't think of any significance of that number. Then one day, my brother-in-law Bruce said, you know W is the 23rd letter in the alphabet and our last name is Wasson.

So that was, that turned out to be the significance. So cool. So we kept the plate after he passed away in 1987 and then my mom had it and then she passed away in 2003. And then my sister and I were the only siblings and I said, I really want it. And she said, okay, you can have it, but there's only one condition.

And I said, what's that? And she said, if you ever decided to give it up, I want it. Then I said, okay. So I've had it, had it ever since. And It's always a topic of conversation because people think, Oh, is that your husband is that, you know, a Latin word. What's the reason for REX on your car. So it'sbeen a conversation starter too.

Well, I love 

Trista, Host: [00:02:48] that it's a legacy for your family. I've interviewed other people who it's a family of people who all have a license plate. But I think this might be the first one where it's a generational license plate. That's been in the family for decades. I mean, the seventies. I was born in the seventies and I know quite a while 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:08] ago,

Trista, Host: [00:03:08] And I love that you figured out the significance of the 23. I think it's funny that he didn't really want to spend the money on a license plate. And then when he finally did it, it was almost sort of random. So, so that's great that the 23, and it works for your last name as well, because you still are a w last name, which I mean.

I assume that's not why you decided to marry your husband. Yes, 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:34] I do use Wasson as my middle name, so, yeah. Okay, perfect. 

Trista, Host: [00:03:39] Perfect. So this is not the first vanity plate that you've had. You've had others. Tell me a little bit about that. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:03:47] My first vanity play was LWCBIZ. And that was my initials plus the word biz. That was before the internet, when we were, while we were using this.biz and I was starting my own business, my first business.

And I always look to my dad as kind of the, the, a spark of the entrepreneurship in our family. And I have continued that in several different ways through my life. That that was my first business and the so it was LWCC business services. My last name was carpenter at that time. So that was my first vanity plate that was in the state of Arizona.

And it was I could take it as a business expense because I considered it advertising. So that was kind of cool too. 

Trista, Host: [00:04:41] Awesome. And then you had a couple of other vanity plates along the way. So tell me, tell me the history of your vanity license plate ownership. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:04:53] Well, my first business, I was a legal assistant and I, I did freelance Legal assistant work.

Plus I, that was when word processing was just starting to take off. And a lot of law firms didn't even have word processing equipment yet. So I would do word processing for them and it made me an expert, which was kind of cool. So that was my first business. Then my in let's see, 1990, 1991, I left that career and I had always loved writing.

But I never thought I could make a living at it. The world never told you, you could make a living at it. And I decided to start a career as a professional writer. So I, I landed my first job as a professional writer in St. Louis in 1995. And I got my vanity plate to celebrate. It was let's see, LVWRDS, which is love words.

Oh, I love that one. 

Trista, Host: [00:05:56] Now I want to stop here a little bit because you went from there's no job you could get as a writer people. And that was my thought too. Like who gets paid to write. I mean, obviously people do, but it seems so foreign to me. And it sounds like you had a similar idea, but then you became a writer.

I'd love to hear how that switch occurred. That paradigm shift that allowed you to actually become a professional writer. Cause that's what you do now. Yes. Yes. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:06:27] So my start in that was a book called what color is your parachute? And I had never really explored me as a working person work had always just kind of been a. Oh, I got to make a living kind of thing. So I worked through that whole book, learned so much about myself.

Then one of my friends was a career counselor at that time and he gave me the battery of career tests. And I was sitting at my desk and the law firm one day, he calls me at work. He goes, yeah. Quit your job right now. You're in the wrong job. That's what's wrong with your long? My goodness.

I said, Oh, well, I'm not going to quit right now, but tell me more. And so he said you're supposed to be a writer and you're your second highest. Score is for ministers. So get out there and start, start writing to get up the courage to do it because it was very scary and I had still had a lot of people telling me, Oh, there's no way. You have your bachelor's degree is in psychology. You have no experience. There's no way you could have a career as a writer. So I redid my resume. Nice thing about being a writer. You can write your own resume.

So I re did let her resume as a writer. I emphasized every possible thing I could think of that related to writing and I quit my job. I didn't have a job lined up and I came to St. Louis. Stayed with my sister for about a month. I mean, talk about a wonderful brother-in-law and, and did the job search thing.

Finally found a company that was willing to take a chance on me and they hired me as a communications specialist. So that was my first writing job. So, and then it, the job grew. I also did teaching. I did editing. I did all kinds of things that I love to do just because I took a risk and I took a chance.

And I repackaged myself 

Trista, Host: [00:08:44] love that. Now I have to ask, you know, that saying, you never forget your first. I think it applies to everything. So I'm curious. Do you remember the very first thing you got paid to write? 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:08:58] Oh my goodness. I had a, I won a poetry contest and I got a check for $5. All right. That counts

awesome. 

Trista, Host: [00:09:12] I love it. So tell me a little more about your writing . You've not just written professionally for companies. You've also written at least one book, right? 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:09:22] I've written, I've written. I just released my fifth ebook and yeah. Okay. I have a blog. So those are my two areas where I do writing for myself and my ministry.

The I've been blessed, just unbelievably with the doors that God has opened for me, where places where he's needed me to serve some Christian organization, some non-Christian most, I would say. 99% of my professional writing experience has been for non-profits, which has been really interesting.

Something I knew nothing about. I never would have planned or expected. 

Trista, Host: [00:10:05] Wow. That's great. And so are you, you said that the second thing was to be a minister, so it sounds like you have taken that on as well. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:10:14] Yes. I have a ministry for widows. I've been a widow for 18 years, so I feel like I'm an expert at it. And I also know that I can help other widows go through the process that they're going through. My heart was breaking this week. A young widow with two children just lost her husband in November.

And some of her posts were just heart-wrenching and I reached out to her. And that's why I do what I do is when you, you see these people, these women in such deep pain and you, you just want to help them through it.

Trista, Host: [00:10:58] And you had a pretty difficult time when you lost your husband as well. Am I right? 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:11:03] Yes, I did. It was it was one of the, he was young. He was only 51 when he passed away. We had only been married for seven years. We knew he had health problems, but we didn't know or didn't want to know how serious it was.

So his death was definitely unexpected for that. At that time, we felt like he had, he was getting better in a lot of areas, but he obviously wasn't. He had, when we married, he had three teenagers. So we had formed a family with all of us and one of the most hurtful things anyone ever said to me at his Memorial service, we were walking down the hall after the service to go to the dinner.

And she turned to me and said, well, you can just forget about the kids now. They're just going to write you off. And I, that was the minute I decided I'm not going to let that happen. And so we've, we've maintained our relationships. They're all married now. They have children. The grandchildren call me Grammy, Laura.

It's, it's been a really good experience, as good as it can possibly be. 

Trista, Host: [00:12:24] I'm really glad to hear that. You can create a relationship from something you just have to put the effort in. Right. And so clearly you did that. And when you said that their kids call you Grammy Laura, I actually felt that like right in my skin, you know, like that was just so juicy and so much love there for that relationship to be that way.

So congratulations for being able to create that with them, not have what that person said, be a reality. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:12:55] Right. And they have been wonderful also. I it's definitely all of us working together. Oh yeah, 

Trista, Host: [00:13:03] sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. You all made that effort. Now? How did you navigate the, I mean, you are a widow earler than you ever would have thought in a marriage that was a lot shorter than you ever would have wanted it to be.

It was unexpected, as you said can you share a little about your process of what you discovered and how you got through it all? 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:13:27] Well, I spent about 10 years thinking that I was a wife and waiting, just waiting for my next husband to come along and he didn't come.

And I said, well, I I've got to go on with my life here. So I basically wasted about 10 years. Then I decided to ask God, what else do you have for me? What else do I need to be doing? And that's when he revealedMore Than a Widow to me. That's my ministry I have now. I was very resistant and very reluctant... I never wanted to call myself a widow. I don't even like the word widow, but I've worked through all of that. And I think I'm helping other people work through that also. 

A lot of the women are, are very unprepared. They don't know anything about their finances.

They don't know how to take care of anything around the house. They are totally lost. A lot of women rejected by friends and relatives who are afraid to talk about what the woman is going through. So there's a lot of, a lot of sub issues that you have to deal with as, as the years go on that my main message is that you're still here for a reason.

So let's, let's find out what that is and let's do it. 

Trista, Host: [00:14:56] Yeah. I want to take us to a different piece of this for a second. Because of something you just said. So if I'm a friend or a family member of somebody who has been widowed is that the right term has been widowed, who has lost their spouse. What is it that I can, cause I actually have a friend going through this.

She's about my age. It's very similar to your story. They weren't married that long. They were married like six years madly in love. You know, just so much love, unexpected too soon. Heartbroken. I want to reach out. I want to, to do, to say to, I don't know what to do. I can't imagine what she's going through.

I have no personal experience. I love her dearly. I want to say the right thing. That'll make it better. I know there's no right thing. So, is there something you could advise those of us who have people in our lives? So we, I would never want her to feel rejected or excluded, but I, I also don't want to intrude on her pain either.

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:16:10] Well, two, two pieces of advice I would offer from my experience and from what I've encountered with other widows, one is keep reaching out to her, even if she doesn't respond, even if she rejects you, even if she cuts you off, keep reaching out.

Once a week at the minimum, just call, a note, a invitation to lunch, whatever that just keep letting her know you're there for her. The grief process is different for everybody. It goes at a different speed for everybody, but the one of the characteristics of grieving is you want to isolate. And that's like the worst thing you can do is cut yourself off from other people.

And it's so much easier. I still battle with that. After 18 years, it's so much easier to create your own reality and try to exist there then to try to deal with other people in the world and everything else that's going on. So I would say, keep reaching out. No matter what the response is, the other is let her know.

Did you know her husband? 

Trista, Host: [00:17:24] No, we went to college together and I had never met him. Yeah. 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:17:28] Okay. Okay. But just acknowledge their marriage acknowledged that he existed because usually the main thing that people do is, they're afraid to talk about the person who died because they're afraid that they will upset the person, but most of the time it's the opposite that you want people to remember that person. I know after my husband passed away, I took he, he was a minister, so he wore neckties all the time and I took his neck ties and I sent one to each of his friends and relatives, and it was so interesting to see the different responses. I got one person said it back and said they did not feel worthy to wear his neck tie. A couple of other people just said, thank you. Some people were very touched. People who knew him are going through their own grief process, that you can affirm her and let her know that she was really blessed to have him in her life and to have enjoyed the things that they, that they did enjoy.

Trista, Host: [00:18:44] Thank you. That's really, really helpful. And I will make sure to be reaching out at least once a week. And, and, and you gave me this idea, like I never met him so I can ask her about him. Like, tell me what was special about him. Why did you love him and give her the, the freedom to talk about him? If she would like to.

 That's great. Good advice. So you have six points about how to be more than a widow. Can you share those with 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:19:14] us?

Yes. These are from my personal experience and I've had a lot of women tell me that these have been very helpful for them. The first one is to live beyond the label. People are going to label you. They're going to stereotype you. They're going to try to categorize you as a widow, but be yourself and don't let that define you and then be your true self.

A lot of times, our true selves have in marriage have gotten wrapped up in our spouse and it's hard to separate that out. And, and it's really a discovery and adventure process to find out who am I and who am I now? And don't be afraid of, of that that adventure to serve others. Anytime we can focus on other people that gets us out of ourselves and to be open to ways that we can serve and help others and especially other widows and to let go of hurt and anger. I saw many widows get lost in the why question they get lost in the, this shouldn't have happened to me. This shouldn't have happened to us. They get hurt feelings from the ways that people react to them and just let go of that hurt and anger, because it will consume you and say, thank you to God for each blessing that you receive. Sometimes it's hard to see our blessings when we're hurting so much that there's their blessings every single day. And just to, to, to notice those and recognize those and thank God for those.

Trista, Host: [00:21:06] Wow. That's quite a list. So anything else you'd like to share about the ministry that you have and what it offers 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:21:16] More Than a Widow is a ministry of encouragement, hope, and resources that that's my goal to help widows live beyond the label and find what else God has for them to do.

There are many different avenues that I'm using right now to do that. And it's, it's very interesting. I have a Facebook page and a Facebook group. I have a blog. I have a YouTube channel. I am on Twitter. I mean, I, I do my best to get out there and let people know that I, that I'm here and what my message is.

Trista, Host: [00:21:57] Well, I really thank you for all your work. So we'd been in a pandemic for a while now. I'd love to hear. Oh, I know. Right. So weird. I'd love to hear how that's impacted you and your work as a writer and your ministry of more than a widow. Have you come up with any new hobbies? 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:22:17] Well, my experience with the pandemic has been very different than, than most people. I think being a widow prepared me for this time of isolation and sheltering in place, which sounds kind of strange, but I really can see that. I also have been able to do some things that I had always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity.

One of those, I always wanted to be a red cross volunteer and I always felt like you had to be a couple and you couldn't have pets because you had to travel all the time and you had to leave your home a lot. And there was, it just was not in my realm of reality. Then I found out that I could volunteer as a writer.

So this year I went through the volunteer training, and I'm now a volunteer writer for the red cross, which is really just an amazing surprise to me. I am also. It really, is it really, is it just the stories that you get to hear from the volunteers who are actually out there in the field? That's pretty much what, what I've been writing about and that's just so inspiring and, and so wonderful to know that there are people out there who are willing to give so much, the red cross is like, Over 90% volunteer staffed.

So that, that's just amazing how this organization functions so well. And so efficiently with those that meant that high percentage of volunteers. 

Trista, Host: [00:23:58] I really love how you wanted to do something. You didn't really know what it would look like. And then you figured out a way to bring your actual personal skill, experience, passion, et cetera, to something else.

And it occurs to me like maybe if you want to volunteer for something, but you feel like you don't really match with what they're doing, call them up. Hey, this is something I do. Could you use this skill to support what you're up to and see what they say? That's awesome. Any, any stories you'd like to share?

Any favorites that you've written about? So lately, 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:24:35] Oh, I just did one young woman. She volunteers for the red cross. She was, had severe injuries in a really awful car accident. Took her a very long time to recover. She never did really get back to where she was as far as her capabilities, but she took a disability status with her military service. And now she's volunteers with the red cross. It's just amazing. She goes to disaster sites. She has figured out how, how she can serve with her capabilities. And it was just such an inspiring story. And it's basically given her a reason to go on and just just wonderful, wonderful story.

Trista, Host: [00:25:24] Mm, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Well, I'm so happy to have had you on my podcast and to share REX23, as well as your story, which, you know, just like, I always say the license plate is just the beginning of the story. And I really enjoyed getting to know you. Thank you so much for being on any final words before we 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:25:49] end. I. I think that these podcasts guest spots have been really fun for me. And I thank you for adding another fun one. It was great. Yay. Thank 

Trista, Host: [00:26:03] you so much for saying that and thanks for being on. Have 

Laura Wasson Warfel: [00:26:06] a great day. 

Trista, Host: [00:26:09] Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details. 

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.