REINA - Plate 59 - Trista's PL8STORY Podcast with Kristina of Denver, CO

REINA - Plate 59 - Kristina of Denver, CO

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Episode Transcript - REINA

Trista, Host:  Welcome to this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY  (Plate Story)  Podcast. I'm Trista Polo from iwokeupawesome.com and I am your host. Each week, we learn the story behind that vanity plate. You know, the one you saw driving down the road... what did it say? What did it mean? Why did they choose it? 

Welcome. I'm excited today to have Kristina Campos from Denver, Colorado. Her license plate is REINA, and we're going to hear the story behind it. Welcome Kristina. 

Kristina Campos: Thank you for having me. 

Trista, Host: I'm so excited to have you. Now tell me the story behind why you chose the plate REINA. 

Kristina Campos: Oh, my goodness. Well, my story actually begins with me crying in my closet.

And if you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about because it's that place you go in your home to get away from your children to go talk to your girlfriend on the phone, without having all these ears like listening to you. And for me, it's also a place where I go and sit by myself and maybe even show emotion.

So. I have been crying in my closet for a few months and rewind a little bit. And the reason I'm crying in my closet was because my husband had asked for a divorce and I didn't take it very lightly. It was not something that I wanted. We had a really story book, marriage. I met him when I was young. We went to college together.

After college, we got married after we got married, we had four beautiful children. And then in my late thirties, the ball kind of dropped on me where he wasn't happy anymore and he wanted to go his separate ways. And divorce is hard, no matter what, like everybody, like, I feel like it's, it's just such a flip your life upside down part of your journey and it's sometimes unexpected as it is with me. And I think a lot of times you can see it coming, but not always. And I had this vision that I was going to be married and had my kids forever. Like I'm Catholic. Like we don't get divorced. Like it was like a big you know, I, nobody in my family has ever gotten divorced.

I had this vision that I was going to be a mainly stay at home parent or a part-time working mom, parent. Because I loved parenting. I loved having my children. I'm from a long line to stay at home moms. And that's, that's what I wanted for myself. That's how I always saw my life kind of ending up.

And then when he told me that he wanted a divorce, I, I crumbled. Not only because I was devastated that he wanted to, to do that. But also because my life was going to flip upside down and you start to question everything, absolutely everything in those moments. Do I really want to watch this TV show or my watching it because it's habit.

And he used to like it. Do I want to cook this for dinner tonight or. Do I even really like that for dinner? Is that something I'm just used to cooking? You start to analyze everything and then the fear sets in and now it's like, what am I going to do now? How am I going? He was the breadwinner of our family and I'm a, how am I going to support myself?

How am I going to push forward? I'm going to have to work. Working wasn't bad. I love my job. I'm a teacher by profession and I love teaching, but as you know, it's not the best paying job out there. And it takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of time and I thought, Oh, my kids need me. This is what I need to stay home with them where our lives are changing.

And not only at that, I had some emerging teenagers at the time. So couple, an already difficult thing for anyone to go through, including your children, but to become it being a teenager. In the middle of it is also very difficult because those years, as we know are just hard. 

Trista, Host: So they're already hard. I was going to ask you how old were your kids when all this was happening?

Kristina Campos: So today they're eight, 10, 16, and 18, and this happened six years ago. So they were, they were, some of them were very small. My youngest one doesn't remember me ever being married, which blows my mind. Cause I was married for over 13 years, you know? So but it it's just this life shaking thing to make things even more on top of it.

I started to doubt myself. And I think this happens a lot when it's not a mutual or, or you didn't want that to happen to you thing. You feel like, you know, you're being abandoned. You, you have those abandonment issues that start to arise. You feel like you're being rejected. Why me? What's wrong with me?

Start going through these horrible. Thoughts in your mind about why is this happening? I don't understand what I did. And then it goes into a place of who is ever going to want this. And for me, I thought who's going to want this I'm in my late thirties. I'm not a young woman anymore. I have four children that will come first in my life, no matter what.

And who wants to step into that, who wants to step into and join me as a partner when these aren't their kids. And I'm still at the time again with small children, even, and teenagers, you know, who wants to deal with the arguing and the fighting matches and spit ups and the throwing up when they get sick and all of the things that Parenthood does and has that comes with it. Why would anyone, anybody wants to join me in that? And I didn't under, I didn't get it. 

Trista, Host: Well, and not only that, but you weren't even sure why you were being left from the man that you loved and wanted to be married to. So I could imagine that probably made you question a lot about yourself as well on top of that.

Yeah, 

Kristina Campos: yeah. So much. And you begin to think, okay, well, I got, I can't just sit here and cry in my closet forever. I I have to move forward. I have to get ready. There's a, now there's a clock ticking literally of when I'm going to have to start really supporting myself, which is the end of my alimony is how it usually works in divorce.

So now there's a clock ticking, I got a time period that I need to pull my stuff together and figure out where I'm going. And although you want to sit there and cry in your closet forever. I think when you're a parent, That pivot becomes a little bit easier because you have also these eyes watching you, you have these people who are looking to you for support for saying, what are we going to do now?

How are you going to react to this? And so eventually I made that that choice to pivot. And said, okay, I've let it all out. I've mourned my sadness for this, but it's time to move forward. And now what do I want to do? And then the self evaluation and discovery starts to begin. The problem is, is that's really hard.

It sounds so easy when I say it, but it's a very, very difficult time period because for me, I looked at myself in the mirror and I said, Who is this person? And I don't understand where, how I got here. Everything was going well, what happened? I don't, I don't get it. How can I be so blinded? And I realize now, in retrospect, after having time to really rebuild and, and reflect quite a bit, a lot of this happened because I had lost myself in Parenthood.

Which is extremely common for a lot of parents, especially those that stay at home with their children and don't have something outside of the home that kind of grounds them away from only being a parent and gives them something else to, to go and be, or the happy hours that, that working person, that entrepreneur, whatever it is that you are, that doctor whoever So I feel like it happens a lot because you put so much into your children on top of that, couple it with through my self discovery process, I discovered that I'm a giver I give and I give and I give, and that's what I like to do at the end of the day.

That's what fills me up and lets me sleep well at night is helping others. But at the same time, I wasn't able to turn it off. At the end of the day. So I would go to work, which again, I'm a school teacher. I would go to work and I would be helping all these children. And at the end of the day, I was exhausted from helping everyone and for putting all that effort in.

So I had to make some tough choices that I needed to quit that job and stopped taking care of everybody else's kids and start taking care of my own. And that was really hard because I love teaching, but it did eventually lead me to my, my new job, which is my own business, which I founded, which is called the impactful parent.

But again, it's just it's so, so difficult now through all of this. My friends and I, I was so blessed to have two amazing woman who became my friends after the divorce. One of the things that I did to rebuild myself with saying, I need a redo button right now, slap this button. And one of those things that I did to rebuild myself was, you know, what.

I want to meet all new people. I need to meet people who know me for me, Christina, who doesn't know mom, Christina, who doesn't know teacher, Christina, who doesn't know the wife of my ex husband, Christina. I want fresh eyes and it's really hard to make friends as an adult, by the way, practice.

It was one of my goals. And luckily again, in a divorce, it's kind of a little bit easier to let go of some of the friendships that you used to have because people feel like they have to choose between you and your ex-husband anyway. Right. So I kind of just let them pick him and not to say that I don't, I'm not cordial or like, Talk to these people, but I stopped putting the effort to continue those relationships.

And I started putting more effort into building new relationships. So I joined meetup groups and I I joined a volleyball league and all these things to make new friends. And through that process, I met these two wonderful women who became my new besties and they of course like more people who become into your life, they come into your life for reasons.

And Also going through their own turbulent times, trying to find friends. So we gravitated to each other to support one another and then it became my birthday. And I said, we need to go get out, get out. I have to get out of this place. I want to go away and just like be us and let's just have a relaxing weekend away.

So I we piled up the car and we went on a road trip and. When we went to this road trip I ended up just randomly meeting. It was just a weekend away in in Santa Fe, actually. And so I happened to randomly meet this lovely young man. And this young man is I say young because he's, he is much younger than me.

He's seven years younger than me. Okay. And at the time I thought it's fine. I mean, I'm not looking for anything serious. It's a weekend away.

And so I entertained his attention and I let him take me out with my friends, of course, cause we were all there. I wasn't going to be, I didn't have my friends, but he brought in his friends and we all ended up going out that we can have a wonderful time. And after the weekend's over, I drive, we wrote, shipped back home.

I don't even live in the same state. 

Trista, Host: So he lived in Santa Fe? 

Kristina Campos: Yes. Yep. Okay. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm I'm, you know, again, it was very nice meeting you. Thank you so much, but you know, see you later. Bye bye. And this man was resilient and saw something in me that I did not see in myself. And he kept in touch and he kept calling and I got to know him better and better on a deeper level through phone calls. And I kept saying you don't want this. Okay. First of all, I'm way older than you. Second of all,

Trista, Host:  let me talk to you out of why you do not have any interest in me. 

Kristina Campos: Absolutely. Absolutely. Trying to talk him out of it because I was like, I am a hot, crazy mess. I am out of a divorce.

I don't know who I am. Exactly. I'm trying to rediscover myself. I'm trying to rebuild my whole life all over again. On top of all of that, I got four kids that are my shadows that are going to come first. And again, I can't imagine anybody wanting that. So why would you want this? Like so nice to meet you.

Come on. 

Trista, Host: We have no future. Now, how long after your breakup with your husband? How long after you were married, did you meet him? 

It wasKristina Campos:  about a year and a half after the divorce had ended. Yup. Yup. And so I was like, you don't, I I'm crazy. This is, this is I'm I'm still rebuilding. And again, he just was resilient and he wouldn't go away. And I felt bad because he was investing all this time in me and I was grateful for it, but I felt bad for it. At the same time I had guilt because thinking, you know, You are an awesome person. Like I can see why any woman would want to be or could be with you.

Why are you wasting? Because in my mind, that's what I was wasting your time on me because you can go and be with so many other people and you can have. Yeah, we're still old enough here where we're still looking for partners. We're not like nonchalantly, you know, like flings or anything like that. At this age, in our life, I felt like, why don't you want to go have your own children?

I'm not going to have any more children I'm done. I have four. That's plenty. The four I have have all of my attention. I'm not anticipating bringing any more into my life. So why would you give that up was some of the things going through my mind? And he just was like, I it's fine. I like kids. And, but you know, it's okay if they're not my own.

And he was very open. I still don't understand it to this day, 

you already said it. You said he saw something in you, you couldn't see in yourself. Yes. Like you had your whole life turned upside down, you lost something that you thought you would have forever. And as a giver who doesn't seem to take a hundred percent responsibility for your own self care, you probably see that other people are always going to measure up better than you.

Trista, Host: Right. So, I mean, I could see how you'd think that. And luckily. He did not get sold on your, a sales pitch of you don't want me, I have too much baggage and not enough for you. You don't want me. 

Yeah. I mean, I am so lucky that he, he saw that. And so cool. I can't tell you how grateful I am for all of that.

Kristina Campos: Because in the end. And I pushed him away. Let me tell you for at least another full year. Okay. 

Trista, Host: Wow. And he's still in Santa Fe and you're still in Denver. 

Kristina Campos: And I remember when finally I started calling him my boyfriend a year after I've already met him. And I. My friends were like, Oh gosh, it's about time.

I mean, come on. He's like this poor guy, like I'm snorting, because I think it's hilarious. poor guy, how could we don't understand why he's, he's not listening? Like you have pushed, pushed and pushed. Thanks God you finally gave in because he's a good person. You're we, we don't want you to lose him. You know, accept the love Kristina is pretty much what my friends were.

Trista, Host: That's good advice, accept the love being offered to you. 

Kristina Campos: And so I did, I started accepting the love and I introduced him to my children who also, you know, liked him and that he was nice. And over that time, I didn't think anybody could love me like that again. I don't think anybody has loved me like that, the way he loves me and to him, I am his queen.

And he would introduce me to people. Even as that, if I saw I met somebody new, he would say, this is my queen, Kristina, but he did it in Spanish, which in Spanish is Reina. So he would say, this is mi reina. And as I was going through that, I started adopting, he just said it over and over and over and over again to me.

And I think you have to hear things, this crazy statistic about, you have to hear things about like 40 times before they sink in. While more than that, for me, let me tell you. But after years of hearing, "you are my queen, you are a queen", you know, you 

Trista, Host: can do it. I got chills by the way. I mean, just hearing his, honoring you with that out loud, like all the way through my body gave me chills.

Kristina Campos: Thank you. And it's still, I'm so grateful. I got to go back to gratefulness because that's really how I feel more than anything else inside. And then that That came to a point where in my divorce, after everything was final and I'm starting to rebuild again. I thought I'm going to buy myself something nice.

And I haven't bought myself many nice things and not like a, a woman who wears lots of like fancy jewelry. And I like boots, cause I'm a shoe person. But other than boots. Like, I don't really splurge on like a lot of really expensive clothing or makeup or jewels or things like that. 

Trista, Host: You probably splurge on your kids, if I had to guess, do you splurge? I could do that as you see. Yeah. You just get a splurge on them before you ever splurge on yourself. 

Kristina Campos: Yeah. But I, I decided I'm going to splurge on something for me. And I think I want myself a new car. I want something that says just for Kristina, something that is not the family vehicle.

Cause I've been through minivans and SUV's, I have plenty of that. I'm like, I want something that when my children are with my ex-husband, for their visit with him or time to spend with him, that I can be me and throw the Parenthood off the window for just, you know, the few hours or the day or two, whatever I'm freedom I have at that moment.

You know, throw that inhabition aside and get into my car. So I thought, Oh, I want a convertible. I want, it's going to have to be like a two seater something. I cannot bring my kids in. Like it's going to force me to be Kristina. And so I buy this new, this new car. And when I got, got the new car, I thought, all right, I need a license plate.

I know exactly what I want it to say.

Trista, Host: REINA. Yep. And it's spelled R E I N A.

Kristina Campos: Yes. Cause that's the Spanish. That's how you spell it in Spanish. 

Trista, Host: Yeah. Awesome. So what kind of car did you get? 

I actually got myself a nice little Porsche. 

Kristina Campos: I would say that's a splurge that is a splurge yes. 

Trista, Host:  That's awesome. Congratulations. 

Kristina Campos: Thank you. 

Trista, Host:  It's wonderful you did that for yourself, but I love the symbolism of it as well. Like that's what really hits me about it is the symbolic. I choose myself. I give to myself, I love myself and I see myself. 

Kristina Campos: Yeah. And I invested in it in a way that I don't typically invest, which is money because I don't usually spend it like kind of a cheap person, which is funny. So 

Trista, Host: yeah. That's awesome. Wow. Congratulations. I really acknowledge you. Oh my goodness. For everything that you went through.

And it could have really broken you. It could have done irreparable, lifelong damage to you and your kids, right. And you really dragged yourself up from your closet and built yourself and you know yourself as a person, but also yourself as a mom. And I know that that's going to have a huge, positive impact for your kids.

So you are, I mean, the name of your company is the impactful parent, and that's really how I see you with everything that you've done for yourself to, to, you know, strengthen your resolve and your emotional state and your spiritual state. So tell us about how that turned into a company for you. 

Yeah. So, like I said, through that process, I I've discovered I had to quit teaching even though I loved it.

Kristina Campos: So not only because it was probably not financially going to be sustainable for moving forward as my only source of income, but also because it was giving too much and I needed to spend more time with my children. And that's really what I wanted. The flexibility to spend time with my children when they needed me and even in my marriage, that was my role. I was the caregiver and he was the provider and it worked really well. And so I was thinking, how can I, as a solo, continue to be the caregiver even even though I still have to provide now for myself and. I went back to school actually, and got my master's degree and was trying through all this discovery process.

I didn't know what I was going to major in. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I needed to start moving forward. And that's what you kind of do in this process is you say something has to change. So I have to make some step forward and you can't wait for the light to shine and give you an epiphany.

You have to intentionally just keep moving forward in tiny steps. Even if you don't know where you're going, otherwise you get stagnant and you'll the epiphany may never come. You need to keep moving forward. It is through motion and moving forward, that will bring on the epiphany. So. You have to keep moving, keep moving.

And for me, I was like, I'm just gonna go back to school. I don't know what this is going to do. I don't know where I'm going to go with this. I have no idea what to major in for sure, but at least I know I'm bettering myself in a direction that I know I want to go in. So that's what I did. And through that process, I realized ironically, after graduation, I can't get a job because I will be the most horrible employee ever.

I will not show up to work if my kids are sick and I got four kids, the chances of somebody being sick at any one moment, pretty high. 

I mean like almost a hundred percent. 

I'm like, I'm just going to be a bad employee that no one's gonna want to hire me. So I, I said, okay, if I, if I can't be a good employee, I guess I'm going to have to work for myself. And then I went through another exploration of what do I have, what skills do I have that I would bring value to other people in an authentic way. 

And, and again, it came back like, Children. I Know kids, I have spent day in and day out with not only my own four children for ever who are all completely different and challenging me in different ways, by the way, but also with thousands of kids that have gone through my classroom doors. And I have a very unique teaching experiences. I've taught preschool through high school, and most of that time seeing all of those levels within the same day. With in the same week because I was an elective. So most teachers have like the third grade teachers and they, or elementary teachers, and that's what they teach. And they they're good in that area. Or middle school teachers. Because I was in elective. I literally had first grade, a first grade class, and then the next class was a fourth grade class.

And then the next class was a middle school class. And then the next class after that could have been kindergarten and I bounced around all day long all through the week and really got to learn kids on a different level of their development. That's what I can do. That's what I want to do. I want to help teenagers still.

But I want to help them through the home, which is the source. I'm going to talk to their parents and help their parents navigate through their tough years so that those relationships can flourish or at least be more helpful and an easier path because it's, it is hard. And if there's no manual, I mean, if there was, that would be awesome, but obviously there's not.

And that's because parenting is trial and error. And the more resources and tips that you can get as you're navigating this journey of trial and error with your children, the easier that journey is going to be the more community and support you can have. So that's how I founded The Impactful Parent. I decided to bound it on three pillars of providing resources, providing tips and advice for free and providing community to school aged parents. 

Trista, Host: That's really great. And you have a lot inside of that. You have a podcast. 

Kristina Campos: I do. 

Trista, Host: You have a course and people can work with you privately as well. Right? Yeah. Yeah. 

Kristina Campos: Yeah. 

So let's start with the podcast. Trista, Host: Tell me about your podcast. 

Kristina Campos: It's actually brand new. So I'm really excited about it. It's called Impactful Parenting Podcast . So I want you to get these tips and, but I want you to get them in a way. Yeah. That's more authentic to use so that you can listen to them and I'd make sure that my unlike most podcasts, my podcasts are actually between 10 to 15 minutes long because parents are busy.

So it's something I wanted you to be able to click on quickly. I know that it's a car ride. That's it. Instead of, you know, moving further along or, or just while you're getting ready for work in the morning or whatever your day might look like. So they're quick tips in a lot of ways, but it's a lot of parent education.

And so that's what the podcast does. It just, and even all of them, the Facebook, the Instagram, the LinkedIn. I just take my content and I spread it out as much as I can. And hopefully with the podcasting community, I'm, I'm hitting another audience that would listen to me that way, because again, I just wanna make it simple for you.

I know parenting is hard enough as it is. You don't need to go search for stuff. I want it to be really easy. 

Trista, Host: That's awesome. And then your course is called Behavior Management, right? 

Kristina Campos: Yep. Yeah. I have a few courses, but that one's the big one. The behavior management program, helping children with big emotions.

Because a lot of times when kids hit that school age, they start to become more emotional. The hormones start to kick in and also they start to begin their identity with that identity sometimes comes anxiousness and perfectionism and all of these things that happen as they grow up. So this course really specifically hones into helping parents that have children that have like anger management issues, like really like cannot express other emotions, but anger that they just ended up exploding because they have all these other emotions inside and they can't, they don't know how to deal with them. Really. There there's too much in this little body or anxiety. It focuses on children with anxiety. 

So I help you not only work with your child so that they can learn how to control those big emotions, but also work with the parent to figure out what can you do to really support your child better? How how are you? You might be contributing to the troubles at hand, and once you're aware of that, then you can not, right.

Because a lot of times as parents, we don't, we don't understand. We didn't realize that we're actually a contributor. Right. So it's a, it's an amazing program, but it's very intensive. It sounds so easy again, as I say it, but that program specifically is at the very minimum, eight weeks long, and really takes time and effort because it's a big subject.

Anger management is not going to go away overnight. That's something you have to work with your child consistently over a period of time to see change, because we're talking about people here and it, anybody who tells you it's going to go away quickly. I think that's ridiculous. It takes time. It takes effort.

Trista, Host: And yeah, I love that you're not talking about let's fix your kids. You're talking about, let's make sure that you are doing what's best for them. To help them navigate something they probably don't even understand why or how it's happening or how to manage it. That's great. 

Kristina Campos: Yeah. And that's it, you know, we learn how to identify triggers. And like I said, looking at all these different facets together so we can get to the root of the problem because emotion specifically an anger since I'll use that as an example, since we're talking about it, but you know, anger is what you see, but really underneath all of that is a million other emotions. It's just that anger is what we visually see. So parents want to alleviate the anger and say, well, if I get rid of the anger, then it'll go away when really that's not the case. You have to find out why you're angry. Why is your child having explosive outbursts? Are they sensitive to their environment? Is, are they getting bullied at school? Are they scared of something? There's so many other things that could be happening and really anger is just the tip of the iceberg above the water.

Trista, Host: Yes, boy. You're right. Absolutely. Now you also will work with parents one-on-one and small groups. What kinds of things do people come to you to get support on in those cases? 

Kristina Campos: Right now I see a lot of Kids that are withdrawing and oppression happening. And that's true with just everybody right now in society is where. Going through this turbulent time and, and history, I think. But imagine that our children have even less control of their environment than we do. So you might be angry or frustrated with the world right now, but can you imagine that a child whose whole life revolves around.

The school and their friends and things like that. It's all been taken away. So I've been seeing a lot of that. Like why are they doing, you know, why are they withdrawing? It's like, well, there is no prom, there's no graduation, there's no dances. You're telling them they can't go hang out with their friends.

And this is exactly what they're supposed to be doing right now in their lives is learning how to socialize and interact and learning how to date and navigate relationships. And you're telling them that they can't it's like, no, it's no wonder that our young people are having so much trouble. 

I can't even imagine all of the challenges a kid has to go through anyway, with hormones and school and cliques and being good at sports or whatever.

And now you bring a pandemic and just like smother it with all of it, with this, you know, shelter in place. Quarantining. You know, social distancing. I, I don't end the parents or the children having to be parents or kids in this environment. Yeah. 

It's, it's really tough just for everybody. And if you it's like, you're either doing online school and that's difficult or you're going to school, but now it's risky.

I mean, it's just, there's no right answers and you just have to do what's best for your family. 

Trista, Host: Absolutely. So any advice to help parents navigate this current climate that you've been seeing has really made a difference? 

Kristina Campos: Yeah, I think they. It's important for parents to realize that their child is craving some sense of power.

And I'll explain that because it sounds kind of sounds funny when I say it out loud, but kids need to know that they matter. Kids need to know that their existence has some kind of place in the world. They need to have some kind of control over their own life, world, or environment. And this is true for every person in the world, but specifically to children, you know, especially teenagers as they're trying to navigate how to control their own world.

And it's really important to them. If they don't feel like they have control over their own world, they start to become hopeless. And now they're like, well, if I'm hoping nobody cares, it doesn't matter if nobody will miss me when I'm gone. Why do I, why am I even here? The hopelessness turns into depression.

The depression turns into self harm. So it's something we need to really watch out for. And I think that parents understand that their kids are craving some sense of power over their own world. Then you are much more likely to give them a little bit of power, and I'm not saying. You know, let them run a muck boundaries are important boundaries, create security in your child, which is another thing that they need.

But let's take, for example a teenager in the pandemic, maybe as we're talking about them You cannot, you have to place the boundary that you can not go hang out with your friends today. They they're asking, Hey, I want to go hang out and go to the mall. No, I can't let you do that. I'm trying to keep you safe and also explain to them why you're setting the boundary.

Don't just say no. That feels very powerless to a child when you just say no with no explanation. So no, I cannot allow you to do that. I'm trying to keep you safe. I don't feel comfortable with you going there. It's my job to keep you healthy. I can't let you do that. Okay. So now you set the boundary, but then from there start a conversation on what choices can you give your child?

Because choices equals a little bit of power. So then you go to, but what can we choose together? Can we make a socially distance? You know, I don't want to say play date cause a teenager doesn't really call it a play date, but outing, you know outing in the park where we, where you can be a little bit more safe and that'll make me feel more comfortable, you know?

Or can we. Can I allow you to have an extra hour and a half on your computer tonight so that you can zoom your friends and you can sit there and talk to them and see them in person. You start to give them other choices within that. I think it's easier to understand when you in like the toddler years, because like a toddler wants to tie their shoes.

And they just want to tie their shoes and I, I can do it, mom, I can do it, but you got to get out the door and you need to get them to whatever, maybe school on time. And at some point you gotta let them tie their shoes. But that, that day, this moment you have to put the boundary. No, I'm sorry. You've tried to tie your shoes and now it's, the time has run out.

We have to get into the car. You put the boundary down. If we don't tell them why, if we don't get into the car, you're going to be late for school. But. Let's see, you have to go to the car, but do you want me to carry you to the car? Do you want to act like a rabbit to the car? Do you want to be a monkey to get to the car?

When we get to the car, do you want to pick the music in the car? Giving them choice again so that it, once you take away some power, give some back, give them a choice, give something that they can hold onto so that they still feel likely the little bit in control, because we don't want any of our kids, no matter whether they're a toddler or whether they're a teenager going into that hopeless and helpless feeling.

Trista, Host: That's so key, right. Giving them just the smallest little opportunity to have choice and make a decision and have control over the environment. Really, really great stuff. I love that. So is there anything else that you'd like us to know that you think is important to share?

Kristina Campos: No, not really. Just come and come and find me. I would love to have you. And most of what I do is free. So just come and listen, find me on all your social media channels or my podcast. 

Trista, Host: Awesome. Well, I know that what you're sharing has really great value for parents.

So I know people will go check you out and be able to have a much more empowered child. And, and feel empowered themselves as parents. So thank you for all that you're doing for families. Thank you. And I want to thank you too for sharing your time. The story. I know that that was some personal stuff, but I really do appreciate you kinda just, you know, laying it all out there and letting us know your journey because it helped me see how somebody who can be at the lowest of the lowest point.

Unexpectedly can really reinvent yourself and create something very powerful as a result. So thanks for sharing that. It I'm sure made a difference for people. 

Kristina Campos: Oh, can I give your audience a freebie? 

Trista, Host: I of course people love free stuff. 

Kristina Campos: So like along those lines, how I rebuilt myself, I actually broke it down into like 12 simple, simple, easy things that I did a weekly.

I don't want to say daily, but weekly in order to help me regain my identity back and figure out who I was and I through that process. And you can find those 12 tips for for yourself@theimpactfulparent.com/lifebeyondchildren. Yeah. 

Trista, Host: Mm. I love it. That's wonderful. I love that it came out of your own journey.

And we'll make sure to have that in the show notes so people can access it easily as well. That's great. Thank you for that. So I always like to turn the tables and give you an opportunity to ask me a question before we wrap up. Do you have a question for me? 

Kristina Campos: I would like to know what is your fondest memory as a child?

Trista, Host: My fondest memory as a child. One of the places we lived when I was a kid, was this town called Camp Hill, Pennsylvania, this little town. There are two things that kind of pop out of my memory that I'll share. One was that I was able to have the starring role in one of the plays. It was calledThe Murder Room. And I was just this insane woman who was being driven even further insane by her cheating husband. And she shot him at the end of the play.

And then another experience that I had, again, it was in theater. I was cast as Anita in the West Side Story. 

And I have to say that I attribute that experience to Terry Bechtold going to give him a shout out. He was an English teacher, but he was also the head of the drama department.

And I was just thinking about him the other day. I wonder where he is and I wonder if I could track him down. And I wonder if we would have anything to talk about this many years later, you know, cause he was probably my most impactful teacher as I was growing up.

Kristina Campos: I like it. And can you imagine how sad our high schoolers right now, who had like, plans for big plays and do that? They can't even go to school. 

Trista, Host: Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine. I really can't. It just really breaks my heart. All of those experiences that are part of the passage through school.

That are being skipped and they may never get back in the same way. 

Kristina Campos: And that's what we need to think about. 

And that's, so we need to think about, and we need to see if there are ways that we can give kids equivalent experiences so that they don't end up developmentally stunted and the things that they normally would have learned from.

Yeah. 

Trista, Host: Well, I want to thank you so much, Kristina,

Kristina Campos: Thank you for having me. 

Trista, Host: Thank you for joining us for this week's episode of Trista's PL8STORY podcast. Please subscribe to Trista's PL8STORY podcast to get the story behind all those vanity plates, driving with you on the road. And if you would like to nominate the owner of a license plate, including you... Or visit any of our partners and sponsors come and see us www.pl8story.com. That's P L number eight story.com and give us the details. 

If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a review and give us a share. I'm Trista Polo wishing you well on the road to your next adventure.